Active psyche
Alongside shifts in perception some co-inquirers reported hearing River ‘speak’ in words and images. These are often vivid experiences, and yet we don’t claim that Rivers do speak in human language. Rather we see these insights as coming from an inner intuition or active imagination that allows the human psyche to resonate with a wider sentient field.
Justina, on her second encounter with river, goes to the spot that she feels is friendly, where River is deep and clear. As she stands on the bank she immediately feels connected to River and at the same time overwhelmed with unexpected sadness and exhaustion. She does her normal affirmation practice, and then, feeling too tired to write, speaks into her iPhone.
“River, I just feel really tired, a kind of deep tiredness”. And River said… “That’s okay, that’s okay, just bring who you are.” Maybe that’s all I want to write today: That’s okay, just bring who you are. And then I said out loud: “I don’t want to do anything, I don’t want to write anything, I just want to be.”
I try again. “Dear River, dear River, I feel so tired, I feel so tired [tears come as I say that]. I feel so tired of life. It’s not Life itself, it’s… I just feel so exhausted by what I’ve been through, which is more than anyone should have to bear… I can’t even say it: it was a cruel thing…” Tears are coming down my face. “What I’ve been through is more than anyone should have to bear”. That sounds self-pitying but if you don’t feel the hurt you can’t fully heal. So even though I’m suddenly feeling more like me, at the same time I feel this woundedness at my core; my eyes are closed, and tears are coming down my face. That’s what I’m bringing that to River today.
Even with my eyes closed I feel River’s taking that away for me, doing all this work for me. I feel that River is happy to have my tears. I’m going to put one of my tears into the river. It is quite muddy here, but I can reach down without sinking in. “There you go, River, one of my tears”.
River told me last week that she, he, it, they would bring things to me. “But what have I brought to River? [Tearful.] What am I bringing to you?” I feel River saying: “You’ve just added to me with your own body. With your own fluids you’ve added to me and magnified me.” That makes river a very generous being indeed.
I felt a deep sense of catharsis.